Monday Morning Walk And Talk II

Big News, on Friday I was able to take my first steps.  This is huge!  I'm not exactly walking around yet but I have been able to transition to one crutch and it has made a huge difference already.

I'm going to keep this short for now and maybe I'll circle back later to expand a bit. We lost Thursday night to finish the season 6-3. It was a pretty bad game for us and playoffs start this week. Let's bounce back. I went and watched my work's company softball team win their championship Friday night. Sara and the girls went to PA for the weekend and left me home alone. My sister moved to the area Saturday and some great friends of mine were able to help. My Aunt Maria visited Saturday night in between traveling back to Rochester. The girls came back yesterday afternoon.

All in all it was a great weekend and being able to hobble around with one crutch now is making some things much easier. I have a followup with the doctor tomorrow and I suspect we'll set a surgery date. As many steps forward as I can take between now and then the better. That way when the surgery knocks me back a few steps I won't have as far to go.  Lets do this.

Relearning To Walk

Relearning how to walk has been one of the more interesting and challenging experiences of my life. I injured myself on July 30th and put hardly any weight on my right leg for 2+ weeks. On August 17th after my followup with the doctor, he advised that I start putting weight on the leg. (still wish I had bumped that appointment up earlier since I had a two week gap after the MRI was done and that but oh well).

I started physical therapy on August 19th and learned the initial set of exercises I needed to work on to strengthen up the rest of my leg. Some people do not need surgery as a result of this injury if they are able to walk and are not trying to play sports. For me, I've always played sports and I know I'll need the surgery to return. In the meantime I needed to work on regaining leg strength to be able to walk. Quad strength being a lot of the focus.

Before the PT appointment on Wednesday, I worked on crutch walking Monday and Tuesday. It made quite a difference. Before, I had to use all upper body to get from place A to place B. Now, I could sort of walk, albeit with the aide of the crutches and pretty slowly. But it was a start!

I was slightly nervous for the PT since I knew there would be some bending of the leg in ways it may have not been quite comfortable yet. And it did. But it wasn't so bad. I did some knee bending and some leg lifting. I was given a print out of the exercises to work on and left with the homework assignment of doing those three times a day. Not too bad. He also said I need to ice it down every night which I had not been doing.

On Thursday I asked Matt if he wanted to do a lap outside. Fresh air breaks at work has been a daily ritual for us to take a step away from our desks, breathe in the good air, and stretch our legs a bit. It had been almost three weeks since I was able to take a lap around the property and I was ready to snap that streak. One lap around the entire premise is a half mile, so it's a decent amount of distance. We did it, slowly, but it felt good. Later Thursday I went to my kickball game and the bars afterward to celebrate victory and at the end of the day my fitbit "printed" out a 3.47 mile for the day. I had gotten up to 2 miles a couple times before but this was my best day so far.

Of course with that being said, I was pretty sore for the rest of the weekend. It got tricky doing the exercises at times. A couple nights over the weekend I did wake up in the night with it not feeling so awesome. A couple It's Always Sunny episodes were quality medicine as I was able to transfer some brain energy to laugh at those idiots. That helped. I had to buy four new tires Friday morning for my car to pass inspection. That didn't help. We had a pizza party Saturday night with some friends. That helped. (Thank you again Sara for making the pizzas). And generally, I took it pretty easy over the weekend. I wasn't able to go to Magnaball (wasn't planning to), but I watched the live streams each night and that was super awesome! All three nights were fantastic. The boys are on fire.

Yesterday I went for my second PT appointment. I was able to use the stationary bike. I got full rotation on the pedals but wasn't able to pedal all that fast. That was nice. I showed him how I had been walking on crutches and told him I over did it on Thursday. He asked me to show him how I walked without crutches and I just stood there. Not quite ready for that. I'm hesitant because I don't want to fall. I'm slightly hesitant to somehow make this worse before it's repaired. I haven't tried without crutches yet so yeah I'm a bit nervous about that. He showed me a couple new exercises I can do now to work on shifting my weight from side to side (formerly my goto dance move) and extending up from my tippy toes distributing the weight evenly. I'll work on those and try to attempt some without crutches walking at some point.

To a lot of people, having PT before surgery seems a little different, but I understand why. I need to strengthen everything else up in my right leg prior to surgery so that after surgery that strength is still there while my new ACL gets ready to take over it's functions.

The doctor had said last week that I didn't need to wear the leg brace all the time so I've been keeping it off when I'm just at home.

I have another followup with the doctor next week and another PT appointment this week. Hopefully by next week the doctor likes the progress he sees. My daughter starts Kindergarten on the 8th and I do not want to miss that, but they are welcomed to open me up the following week if everything looks good to them.

Relearning to walk is one of the weirdest things I've ever done. I don't recommend you try it.

Wham Bam Right In The Box

I'll keep this short cause no one wants to read a 20 page kickball game write up!

This week's matchup vs Wham Bam Thank You Clam was a game I had been looking forward to all season. We love playing against Clam, especially when we beat them. It had been a while. Alan was missing from the game but their two headed pitching monster of Rich & Hank were both there. As long as Jesse made it to our game, I had planned to let him roll the entire thing. Wham Bam was undefeated this season. Heck, they were undefeated last season. The only game they lost was the Spring championships.

Craig somehow won the rock paper scissors. We held serve and kept them scoreless in the first. Jimmy lead off and got on base. Mike bunted and got thrown out at first. Jimmy got to third and the defense attempted to make a play. The ball scattered into left field and he got up and got home. 1-0.

The score stayed 1-0 until the top of the 4th. With 1 out and runners on 1st and 3rd Wham Bam popped up to Jesse at the mound and he reacted and tried to get the runner at first out before she could get back to the base. The ball got her square in the back and it was close, but she had already gotten back. The runner on third scored as a result. It was a close play and he knew the run was on him. 1-1.

In the bottom of the 4th Alex lead off and got on base. Jimmy and Mike followed and got on base. Bases loaded. No outs. Steve showed that he was human by ripping the ball to the monster and getting out. A couple feet to the left or right and that would have been two runs! The impressive part of the play was Alex not leaving third and getting tagged out as a result of the play. Alex received 2 box points on the spot for not leaving the base and not getting out. Craig knocked in Alex on the next play and we were up 2-1.

Jesse and the defense played two more great innings and we ended up winning 2-1. Jimmy played the full game at catcher as well. They both could have used a break during that game but sometimes you gotta just ride your horses to water instead of bringing water to your horses.

We hung for quite a bit after the game and our team made appearances at both bars. I've been able to crutch walk as of this week which has been interesting and I'll be writing a post about that soon, (I'm trying to play catch up here!). All in all, I put 3.5 miles on the fitbit thursday. It was a good day!  And we Wham Bam'd Them Right In The Box.

Miss Daisy at the wheel

Steph and Joel loving it

Alex trying to figure out the Box Point to Ball Point conversion.

Jimmy & Jay celebrating the Box success

Chris and Jesse after Jesse superb outing!

The Box @ lionheart! 

Camping

Meant to post about this earlier in the week, but hey better late than never!

Last weekend we joined Carrie and Kevin @ Whetstone Gulf State Park to camp! Originally we had 2 nights in mind, but switched to one night after my mobility situation got a bit altered. It seemed manageable.

We left and arrived early Saturday morning. It was a couple miles down the road from Snow Ridge Ski Area in Turin, New York where moe.down is held. Kevin, Carrie, their little girls, Kevin's brother Jay, and Carrie's sister-in-law Kristen were there to greet us.  Yay we made it. The girls didn't rest on the drive at all. And it was time to get out of the car.

It was a great day. I started off with some insurance studying and put that down after a few minutes. Carrie, Jay, Kristen and her dog went hiking. Sara, Kevin, and the kids went to check out the beach. Our camp sites were pretty sweet. We were right in between the beach and the bathrooms.

I crutched over to the beach after a couple minutes of hanging back and sat in the chair to watch. After a bit we went back for lunch. We returned to the beach later in the afternoon and the kids played for a long time. After dinner and much fire action and Jay's nighttime story to the girls, it got darker and darker. Darkness and sleeping proved to be an interesting experience.

In the morning we played and packed up our site. Sara was my true MVP for the weekend packing up all of our stuff in the car and helping me when I needed things. We vacated our camp sites and then went to the beach for a couple hours. The girls were worn out and fell asleep pretty quick on the ride home. I survived. Ha.

Our campsite. Our red tent is on the left!

We'll save this hike for another time :)  They had signs posted advising to stay off trail after 3pm. 

Sand action!

Pretty quiet little spot! :) 

Marsh it up!

Time to head home!

Group shot!

More playing before we leave!

Whetstone Gulf State Park Map

MRI Results Followup

Meniscus is good. PCL is normal. ACL is completely torn. Lateral meniscus looks okay. Still a good amount of fluid in there which is creating the tightness disallowing me to bend it completely.  I need to work on getting the motion back.

Not everyone needs to have surgery. There are three groups of people. Some live their entire life not knowing the ACL was torn at one point. Another group of people can walk but can't trust it during sports. The third group of people have a knee that buckles when they walk and need to have surgery. I feel like I fall in this third group but I haven't really tested it out much since the injury.

It's to my favor that the meniscus is not damaged.

The biggest risk for the surgery is the stiffness.  Near normal range of motion is preferred prior to that.  The plan is now to start PT and work on the motion.

So that's where I am now. In need of finding a qualified physical therapist close to me. I need to start putting some weight on it.

Here's the actual analysis of the MRI:

EXAMINATION: Right knee MRI without contrast
CLINICAL INFORMATION: Jumped and landed awkwardly on 7/30/2015; felt pop and the knee buckled; persistant pain and swelling; difficulty with weightbearing; no improvement with conservative treatment; evaluate for anterior cruciate ligament tear.
TECHNIQUE: A routine right MRI exam was obtained.
COMPARISON: None.
FINDINGS: The body and posterior horn of the medial meniscus demonstrate a poorly defined globular region of mild/moderate increased internal proton density and T2 signal intensity. There is no associated disruption of the overlying meniscal articular surfaces. The anterior horn of the medial meniscus is unremarkable.
The lateral meniscus is normal in configuration and patterns of signal intensity.
The anterior cruciate ligament demonstrates moderately severe diffuse abnormal irregular oval thickening, diffuse moderately severe increased T2 signal intensity and a severe irregular wavy configuration.
The posterior cruciate ligament, the medial and lateral collateral ligaments, the iliotibial band, the biceps femoris tendon, the popliteus tendon, the infrapatellar ligament and the visualized region of the quadriceps tendon are intact.
There is a large right knee joint effusion. There is no definitely evidence of intracapsular loose bodies. There is a moderate medial synovial plica.
There is apartially fused secondary ossification center at the superior-lateral margin of the patella. The overlying articular cartliage is intact.
There is slight impaction of the central osteochondral surface of the lateral femoral condyle associated with moderately severe underlying subchondral intraosseous inflammation/edema.
There is mild/moderate poorly define increases subchondral intramedullary T2 signal intensity involving the posterior half the tibial plateau, lateral greater than medial. There is no assicated significant depression of the overly osteochondral surface.
All three compartments of the right knee joint are well-maintained. The visualized osseous structures are otherwise normal in configuration and patters of signal intensity for the patient's age.
There is mild to severe superficial and deep soft tissue inflammation/edema overlying all regions of the right knee. The visualized soft tissues are otherwise unremarkable.
IMPRESSION:
1. There is a large right knee joint effusion.
2. There is evidence of an acute, complete tear of the anterior cruciate ligament.
3. While the body and posterior horn of the medial meniscus demonstrate evidence of mild internal degeneration, there is no evidence of an associated linerar medial meniscal tear.
4. There is a slightly impacted osteochondral fracture involving the central region of the lateral femoral condyles associated with moderately severe underlying subchondral intraosseous inflammation/edema.
5. There is a mild/moderate diffuse osseous contusion involving the posterior half of the tibial plateau, lateral greater than medial. There is no associated significant depression of the overlying osteochondral surface.
6. There is a moderate medial synovial plica.
7. There is evidence of a developmental bipartite patella.
8. There is a mild to severe superficial and deep soft tissue inflammation/edema overlying all regions of the right knee.

The Box's Resolve

I had hoped to write a different story this morning, but we came up short in our much anticipated rematch against the team that knocked us out of last season's playoffs and went on to win the Spring League. However, not without some drama!

Yesterday was a beautiful day for kickball. I parked in a handicap spot and click clacked my way over to the field. Jennie and Brendan helped me with my chair and crutches while I shimmied down that hill. We watched Menance and Ballhawks play and listened to Ballhawks's terrible music. The sun was shining. The weather was sweet. Like everything else it made me want to move my dancing feet.  Oh wait, that's Bob Marley, and not what Ballhawks were playing. I'll just leave it at that. We assembled and were ready for our rematch against There's No Crying In Kickball.

I lost the rock paper scissors to Anthony as he did not respect Craig's authoritah. His regular catcher Pat wasn't there so he took over catching duties and left the pitching to Muscles. Flash backing to when we lost in Spring to this team, I was mighty impressed Anthony's arm didn't fall off when he pitched 19 innings to lead his team to a Spring League victory. I would have liked to win Spring of course, but I wasn't sad that I didn't pitch 19 that day.

Anyway, we lead off the game but didn't put anything on the board. They scored 1 in the bottom of the first. Craig had told me earlier in the week that his shoulder didn't feel right after his Tuesday night game. He didn't look too comfortable out there but wanted the ball in his hands. Know the feeling. The second inning went scoreless as Jesse rolled it in there nice and tight.

We broke through in the top of the 3rd as Dave crossed the plate on a Mike Silver RBI. Cool, tie game. In the bottom of the third the wheels fell off our wagon. The walls of our pool collapsed. The tetris pieces came too fast. The grinds got all up in the fresh coffee. The blue screen of death shut your computer down before you could save your term paper. The phone stopped charging. Craig walked a couple girls and was clearly struggling with his shoulder. Crying started scoring runs. We got risky in the field on a play where the ball dropped into left center and then our defense started throwing the ball around, allowing baserunners to advance even further. Things got a bit ugly there. We managed to scrape out a few outs but the damage was done. Crying put up 5 and now we were down 6-1. Craig's day pitching was done as he was clearly in pain.

"Don't take my picture" - Craig

The next two innings went scoreless thanks to great defense and great pitching from Jesse. It's great to have Jesse back. We got on base a couple times but weren't able to get one across the plate. We had to take an automatic out at the end of our lineup due to only having three girls (you need four).

Ercan makes a great play! And she's out!

Sarah R lead off the top of the sixth and got on base. Steve got on base after. Craig popped out. Alex got on and pushed Sarah across home. Ercan got on and Steve scored. Still only 1 out but now we are only down 6-3. Jimmy sacrificed allowing Alex to score. 6-4, 2 outs. Dave safely reached base. Jay safely reached base. Mike Dengler safely reached base and Ercan scored. 6-5! Oh right, Jay and Dengler both got walked as Muscles started having issues finding the strike zone. When Dengler got walked, which allowed a run, Muscles got super pissed about the ball calls at Rob (Menace) who was reffing. I guess that was the drama part I promised. Anthony took over pitching and got Silver to pop out ending the game and securing the Crying win. We shook hands and congratulated them on their victory.

Afterward, many of us went to Cafe to hang for a bit. Thanks Steph for driving me to the door (and back to my car after!). It was super great to hang for a bit. Cafe was crutchable enough. Topics of conversation included, rotated, and weren't limited to things like Fall league, Box Soccer team, Chris wanting another blog post, how close we came in our game today and how much we wanted to win that one, Jay being all sad faced, dirtyness and the lack of dirtyness, knee machines, apple being the devil, fried green beans, when the next party is going to be, who are we playing next week, and a bunch of other things. Harrison even joined us for a bit. It was great to hang for a bit!

The Box!

That's all I got. We showed resolve. We can come back from being down. We've got the undefeated Wham Bam next week so that should be interesting. It still sucks not being able to play but being able to hang with my friends makes it manageable.

I managed to log 2 miles on the fitbit yesterday and that seemed like an accomplishment, even though 5-8 used to be the normal. This is the new normal. Other than this kickball recap the week went fine. Had a couple far away meetings but I'm getting a little more used to dragging myself around. We're going camping this weekend so that should be interesting. And I've got that follow up appointment Monday morning which is all I've been waiting for since getting the MRI done on the 3rd.

At this point, I just want to have a game plan so I can start attacking this. This will get tougher before it gets easier. That's my expectation. Sooner I get there, the sooner I can get past.

Thanks for checking in. I know everything doesn't revolve around me. But inside my giant head, to me, this is all a pretty drastic thing. I expect to have to click clack crutch for several more weeks but I can't wait until the day comes where I don't have to. Obviously.  Someday that day will come, until then, you'll hear me coming from a ways away. In my case at least, the thunder comes before the lightning.

Have a great weekend! Let's hang out again real soon!

Suzy & Larry

Suzy & Larry They're my guys If they can't do it I certainly can't Suzy & Larry Wherever they go I go too and so do they If Suzy & Larry Can't do it Neither can I Suzy & Larry By my side All day long and All night too Suzy & Larry Are some real cool dudes

Monday Morning Walk And Talk

Kind of like Monday Morning Quarterback but without the quarterbacking or walking.  Just a quick check in here.

I guess I went in the wrong door Friday morning when I went to the town clerk for my handicapped parking permit. There I went in the door, only to find 8 steps between me and where I needed to be. Irony. But no problem. I can do nice and easy stone and concrete steps. Got my red temporary car parking thing and went home. Off from work, this was my big adventure for the day.

Saturday we visited with Nancy and Andy and it was super nice to get out of the house for an afternoon. I'm finding that most places are handicapped accessible enough. With a little grease under these arms (actually that'd be bad), anything is accomplishable. I got some sun and watched my kids play in the pool, even though my view was impeded by a bare chested Andy sunbathing at times.

Yesterday's big adventure was a trip to Joe Bruno Stadium to catch the Hudson Valley Valley Cats take on the Lowell Spinners. I ran the Fathers Day Home Run 5k in June which gave me four free tickets to any game. The box office gave us tickets for section 320 which was way down the right field line. Okay. After five innings of sitting in the sun and staring at the sun we moved to behind the third base dugout and into the shade. The home team won and we got to see a couple home runs and double plays. The best part was at the end of the day last night when my fitbit only gave me two stars for all this efforting. Some day I'll get five stars again, someday.

Couple quick comments and observations I've learned during my 10+ days of no walking.
-- I have learned to appreciate dry hands above almost everything else. I typically do not mind washing them and letting them air dry, but these days I've really got to take a minute and make sure they are completely dry.
-- People aren't mind readers. And that's ok. I've got to just ask for things. I'm not used to it.
-- Pockets and backpacks are crucial. I can't carry anything. But I sure can if I have somewhere to put it!
-- I say thanks a lot because I am very thankful, but I've really stepped up my 'thanks game' the past couple weeks. I'll continue to be thankful. Most all people are very helpful. It's nice. Yes, there's a lot of inconsiderate people in the world but let's not give all of mankind the thumbs down quite yet!
-- I took a shower Saturday night and my daughter asked me if I just got back from a run. I wish honey, I wish. They understand I'm injured and that they need to be helpful, but they do not understand why it's not magically fixed yet.
-- The past day or so my right knee has really wanted to do stuff. It's a little tired of just sitting here, but that's it's job now. Like it or not!
-- My left leg is going to be great at pivoting in basketball when this is all done. This is the training it's always wanted I suppose.

Otherwise, all things considered, everything is going well. I'm anxious to hear what the doctor has to say next Monday and don't like waiting but it's all part of the process. Patience!

You've got to crawl before you can walk.
You've got to stand before you can step.

Have a great week, I'll post again soon!

keyword being temporary!

It's a Walk Off!

After a tiring journey to that far away place for an afternoon meeting I regained some stamina and drove down to Lincoln Park after work. I shimmied down the hill while Ercan carried my chair. Some of my favorite people from other teams came over and checked on me. Their support means a lot to me. We're one big kickball family.

My team, like always, began to slowly assimilate as we were about to face off against the team that runs the league, All About That Base.  Scouting report like always with them is to be mindful of the base runners and don't kick it to Elyse in left field :). They will keep running. It's best to get the ball back to the pitcher and force the play to stop! It only looked like they had 4 players from their original squad, but still.

They won the rock paper scissors and elected to be the away team like always. The game started out slow. My other main pitcher was unavailable for the game. My main monster/shortstop player was also unavailable due to injury.  We just got word earlier in the day that the other girl on my team that got knee bonked by a bulldozer girl in the game before the game I got hurt, found out her diagnose. Torn ACL & MCL. Ouch! We're not having great luck this season in the injury department!

Craig took over pitching and pitched fantastic. Earlier in the day he officially became our team's co-captain which is something I certainly needed to suss out sooner than later. He's fully capable, able, and willing which were my three conditions. I've got faith in him to keep the ship afloat and on taget.

All About That Base's lead off runners got on base each time they were up but he managed to pitch out of those jams every time. It stunk not being able to go out there and throw but I was happy to give Craig the opportunity to roll, an opportunity he always clamors for when he plays for my team and I subsequently hog all the innings. Ha. He's fully capable throwing it. He might not have the corkscrew english I put on my pitch, but he's got the bounce which can be trickier to kick anyway.

The game was tied 1-1 for many innings. We play 6 inning games. In the bottom of the 6th we were unable to break thru. In the bottom of the 7th we were unable to break thru.  If we are still tied after 8 innings we go to a kick off. A kick off is where one player kicks from home plate, and the closest kick to second base wins the game. Let's not do that. I believe our team has only had to do that once or twice since I've played.

In the bottom of the 8th, Steve Rodway (batting .826 this season) lead off and got on base. Craig kicked a moon ball to the pitcher for the first out. Jay got on base but got hung up on the base paths when Frank kicked and ended up out at second. With two outs, Steve on third, Frank on first, Alex came to the plate. Get a kick Alex. Just get a kick. Alex poked it into right field and that was that!  We won!! Walk off style!!

The win felt good. It was much needed for our team.  There was a couple B.S. calls and I may have ran my mouth a tiny bit but it all worked out in the end. There was an obstruction call at first base made against us at one point and not called the same way against the other team. I know these things happen and I can relate since I ref a lot, but it did feel annoying that it wasn't called consistently.

Craig pitched all 8 innings and only allowed 1 run. Frank and Steve do what they do and got on base nearly every time they were up. Alex went 3-3 and delivered the timely hit at the end.  Dave and Steve played a great two headed monster at short/monster.  Only one ball dropped due to 'lack of calling it' which is how they scored the only run.  All in all, a good game for us to get back to our winning ways and show us that we can do this without some of our key players.  I was proud :)  Elyse even dropped one in the outfield and I've never seen that in my 6 years playing WAKA Kickball!

After the game my team enjoyed watching and videoing me scooting backwards up the hill.  Hey at least I can still make people happy with my infectiously awesome attitude about life! Most of my team went to celebrate at Cafe Hollywood. I went home. I'm not quite ready for that full crutchlife out and about on the town and I hadn't yet got my handicap parking permit for my car.

It was great to get out and see everybody even if I had to just watch. This is what I do now, I recap our games. Lol. Even if the walk off win was more of a scoot off for me, it felt really good to win!

The Box celebrates victory!

The DL

The week has been going by relatively smoothly as I await my follow up appointment. I'm getting slightly better with the crutches and have been doing a good chunk of reading.

Tonight will be interesting as I'll have my first kickball game on the disabled list.  I still haven't figured out who will assume some of my captain duties but hopefully after tonight someone will volunteer.  I plan to get to the games and set my lineups, but there could very likely be a point where I physically can not. I'm more concerned about how I will shimmy down the short hill to get to the actual field tonight than setting a perfect lineup. Should be interesting. I'll probably end up asking that all our games get moved to Field 5 so I don't have to do go very far after this week. Maybe. 

We play the team that runs the league tonight. They're beatable but only if we limit our mistakes. I've got plenty of back up players to take over for me. Perhaps my team can rally the rest of the season, the old fashion way, and win it all for the disabled captain.  That'd be just great, if we win this season, and I don't even get to play.  Oh well, I'd still be happy, even if my heart is just not into it right now.  We've got a lot of work to do to get to that point.  First things first.

MRI

Okay quick last post and I'll be all caught up for now.

I got a call Monday on my way home from work at about 5pm. She said I was approved by insurance for the MRI and that they had an opening that night at 6pm. Naturally, I said, let's do it.

Sara got home and wasn't exactly expecting the quick change of plan. It was downpouring. We scurry'd the girls (yes, that's what you have to do with two little girls ages 3 and 5) into the car as quick as we could. And pushed off for my new favorite place Bone & Joint.

I got into the MRI pretty quickly and got to sit in Bessy for 20 minutes. First time getting an MRI.  It was interesting. I was given ear plugs and basically meditated listening to the sweet sounds of that MRI taking its image slices of my knee. Bessy was basically singing a song to me. And I listened.

Thankfully I only had to put my legs into that thing.  I'm hoping to avoid having to go in the other way anytime in the future.

After a bit I was all done, given the disc, and we headed home. We stopped at Moe's and V got to eat the only food on her food chain, quesadillas, so naturally she was happy.  M finally got over the fact that daddy buckled her seat belt when we left from the MRI and put a smile on her face.

So now the initial appointment is done, and the MRI is done. I just have to wait for the next appointment to hear what the doctor has to say. I mean, I can see what I think I see on the images, but I'm not a doctor.

Otherwise, the knee feels kneey.  I'm not putting any weight on it and don't want to. Thankfully I can move my leg around and I can bend it and straighten it pretty decently.  It is what it is, amiright.

Added 2015-08-17: MRI Results Followup

Getting Around

Took it easy for the weekend, oh wait no I didn't. We had a team party Saturday night and I hopped around until 6am!  Getting around is proving to be not exactly an easy thing. I'm new to this crutches game but need to get better and better.

I've been able to put pressure on my foot, just can't stand on it. I can tap it and move it around. I needed to see if I could drive, so I gave that a try on Sunday.  Drove down to the pool area and watched my kids play in the sprinkler for a bit. Driving seems possible now, but I wouldn't want to exactly have to slam on the brakes. I'm just going to be extra cautious and typically only drive the 1 mile to work and back.

Monday at work was a learning experience. I laughed when I saw my first calendar entry for the day. The 9am company wide wellness walk that occurs on the first Monday of each month. Yeah, skipping that. I had another meeting that morning at 1030am in the, let's just call it the far away place from here out. I left super early, with my backpack of course, and headed over to the far away place. Stopped at the rest room and was still 10 minutes early.

It wasn't easy but once I got going with the crutches it wasn't too bad. What I dislike is, "crutching" with my head down. I like to walk and look at where I'm walking, not at my feet. Oh well. I've kind of adapted the attitude of, I'm handicapped, you watch out for me, I'll make sure I don't fall view so far. It won't work all the time, I've still got to be aware, but for now I'm making sure I am not falling by concentrating on my crutch placement.

I like to blend in. I'm sure people know my walk, and when I'm walking by. But now, I'm the guy with crutches. I stand out like a crying baby and you can hear me coming from that far away place.

It's new though. I'll adjust. I'll get better. In the back of my mind I know that the more adjusting I can do pre-surgery, the better. I know it will be a different story immediately after. The better I get now will help tremendously then.

For now so far, I get around. It just takes forever and I really have to limit my trips and think about them before I do to maximize their efficiency.  Be happy you can walk if you are reading this.  I'd like to plug my phone in right now, but it's a process.

I'll talk about it more in a future post, but since we're talking about getting around, up until last week I was averaging 15-20 miles a week running for the past 16 months straight. I'm used to going for a run when I have any free time. I became a runner and am registered for two half marathons this fall (in sept, and oct).

Slightly burying the lead here, three posts deep and at the end of the third but aside from the day to day living, missing kickball sucks, but missing being able to run every day basically sucks more.  I skipped the day of my game and the day before after finishing my second August challenge on Tuesday.  I was just about to heat up in my training and was enjoying running in the summer heat. I ran 5ks on my lunch break!

That First Day

I slept on and off through the night even restarting one of my Netflix movies so that I could promptly fall back asleep. I woke up and it still didn't feel right. I felt the wobble when I gave my right leg a tiny bit of pressure. I knew it was pointless to try to hop into work. I logged in and canceled my meeting and gave a heads up to my coworkers.

I anxiously waited until Bone & Joint was open at 8am so I could call and try to schedule an appointment. Sara and the girls waited to leave in case I needed a ride. I didn't want to wait around to see the doctor. I confirmed my insurance was accepted there and was glad I didn't need a referral. The knee was never in much pain, but obviously there was discomfort. I've been happily accustom to using both of my legs with no limits for the past 36 years. This was new. Never before had I had a serious injury like this. It felt serious.

After being on hold for 10 minutes or so, cause apparently everyone needed to call at 8am, I got through to the scheduler and got setup for a 1:50pm appointment. Sara left for work and to drop the girls off. I took care of some work things and stared back at the dog who expected me to hop all over to let her out.

I'm super grateful that I had picked up running in the past year and a half to build up some leg muscles. My left leg right now is the early MVP through all of this. (After my wife and kids, teammates, friends, coworkers, etc). Gosh, sorry, sidenote: I've been so grateful to have an amazing family and friends. Really makes my eyes watery. My inner resolve is strong, but their support is what makes it spark.

I listened to Twiddle's live stream from Vibes and Sara came back for lunch.  We shuffled ourselves off to Bone & Joint. I hopped into the building, into the elevator, into the reception area (but 'nooo' not that line, lolz), into the waiting room, and then into the exam room.

I of course was hoping it wasn't anything serious, but it felt serious. On the way over, I said that I was just going to brace for the worst and hope for the best.

The nurse came in, asked a few questions. I'm sorry I don't know the technical term for these roles but the Crutches Delivery Lady came in with crutches, sized them up for me, and gave me a short demo. Never before. I hopped back up and waited for the doctor to come in.

Told him my story and he compared it to a bonehead move Mark Tiexiera made recently running through a stop signal at third base. Okay, so at least he understood my plight. He felt around on the knee and basically told me that it was likely an ACL tear. 70% sure he said. Something like that. I follow sports. I play fantasy football, baseball, etc. I knew what this meant. My season was over. My running season was over. And the recovery is long. I knew what it meant immediately.

I used my crutches to hobble to another waiting room to get an X-Ray on the knee. After the X-Ray I hobbled back towards the exam room and he showed me the images. He basically confirmed his suspicion that it was an ACL tear, likely a Segund Fracture. 100% likely he said. And that surgery would be in my future. I understood this. We still needed to have an MRI to confirm.

Back in the exam room, the Brace Delivery Guy came in with my new besty. He adjusted the straps or whatever and showed me how to take it on and off. We put it on and now I was all braced up. Half robot. Half man.

I scheduled my follow up appointment for the 17th. The MRI would be sometime before, since it had to be approved by insurance first.  I'm so thankful we have insurance. Don't not have it. You never know!

I made Sara take a picture of me with my new robot apparatus so I could show and tell. A lot of really nice people had a lot of really nice supportive things to say, and I'm super grateful again. Super grateful.

My attitude then (and 4 days later kickstarting this blogg recapping these thoughts) was one of positiveness. I should probably save some of my philosophies for another post since we're already getting wordy here but basically the basic premise is that this is just a set back, a knock down. We all know what happens to things that get knocked down. They get back up again. I'm not down. I'm not out. I'm not finished. I've barely just started. This is a setback but it's not the end.

Afterward, we picked up the girls, went home and took it easy the rest of the night!

Living that sweet robot life. Check me out now!

Twiddle Live at Seaside Park - Gathering of the Vibes on 2015-07-31
Intro, Beethoven And Green, White Light, The Catapillar, Amydst The Myst, Cabbage Face, Carter Candlestick

I Should Have Stayed At Third

Hindsight is everything. If we had the knowledge we have now of course we would make slight and major adjustments over the course of our individual histories. Sometimes life chooses for you. My most drasticly failed worst decision occurred Thursday when I decided to round third and try to score from first on an infield bunt on the second play of the game.

I wasn't sure if Sarah R was safe or not but I was already on third base when they had the ball near first. Never hesitated. You've got to be aggressive. We've been on fire this season scoring runs. I have been scoring every time I've been on base. My slightly younger and/or much faster teammates that have been batting lead off were unavailable so I put myself in that role. I even took four balls to walk to first.

My team's bench was on the third base line and I'm sure they all told me to stay. But there was a chance! I saw it. I went for it. And there came the ball, moments before reaching the box.

I jumped to try to maneuver around it. I thought maybe I could pull off some ballerina shit in the air and it would miss me. Before I was able to display my air-matrix abilities, I had already landed. I immediately said "Fuck" in a tone I never heard myself say before.

I'm doing my best to try to misremember exactly how that felt as I landed on the ground with my body trajectory towards home plate and I'm guessing my foot facing towards first. It felt like the knee just wobbled to the side. I never heard a pop. The ball hit my back left leg right before I landed adding insult to injury as I tumble bumbled out at home!

I got up and tried to shake it off. Joe Steak Madey looked right at me and said "You just tore your ACL". I tried to walk it off. I tried to jog a tiny bit. I walked over to my team and it gave out and put me on the ground. I still wanted to play but it did not feel right. I began icing it immediately. I tried standing up a few innings later and again fell. It never exactly hurt, but I could not stand. I knew something was wrong. I tried not to freak out. I texted my wife. I watched my team give up a pile of runs. I couldn't pitch. I could barely lead. We rally'd but never enough to come back. We lost our first game of the season. I tried to get up to shake hands with the other team, and felt the wobble and fell. I shimmied out on my butt, apologized to our opponents for not being able to go and congratulated them on their victory.

Here's the thing. I would have gone for home 10 times out of 10 in that situation. I tried to catch them sleeping. I made them make a play. And a play, they did make. Sarah turned out to be safe at first. Me, out.

I would want any of my quicker teammates to go for home in that situation too. The jump and lack of grace is the part I would have done over. It's funny. Trying to jump to dodge a tag out has never worked for me. The ball always hits me.

I should have stayed at third, but I didn't. And because of that split second decision, my life has been forever altered! But anyway! It happened and that's that!

Sarah R drove me and my stick shift car home and her sister Katie followed. Katie recommended I go to Bone & Joint the following day. I iced and elevated it for the remainder of the night and fell asleep to the trio of Analyze This, Analyze That, and Twins on Netflix. I had no clue how I was going to make it to my meeting at 9:30am the following morning all the way in Building 1's basement when I worked in Building 3. I certainly didn't own crutches or a motorized cart. I figured I would see how it felt in the morning and go from there. Spoiler, it didn't feel better in the morning.

I decided to start this journal as something I can reflect on to mark my progress. I'll use this as my outlet to talk about what's going on so I don't have to talk about it all the time elsewhere. I'll do my best to keep going with it.  I like writing, won't claim I'm any good at it, but here's something I can write about.

Not a pretty sight! And the definition of doing it wrong!